Against Us
by S. Cordell
Summary: When Lily and James are deciding who to use as a Secret-Keeper, Lily finds out that Severus has officially become a Death Eater.  Lily/Severus :
1. Chapter 1

"We can't trust him, Lily. We can't. He's a Death Eater, he's on his side. I don't care what kind of a friend he used to be—"

"You're wrong. James, he's more than he seems."

"_We can't trust him."_

"And why can we trust Peter? You don't even like him that much. Look, trusting Severus is the right way to go. If you want to save this family, you'll make him our Secret-Keeper."

James Potter sat down shakily in the large chair that was closest to him. He and his new wife were in Dumbledore's office, deliberating their future. The decision of who to make Secret-Keeper was a difficult one—just one wrong choice, and there wouldn't be a future. The obvious choice would be James' long time friend Sirius Black, but according to Sirius, he would be the first person Voldemort would look to.

Both James and Sirius were campaigning for Peter Pettigrew, another one of their school friends, to be the Secret-Keeper. Lily protested this. She felt that Severus Snape would be a better choice.

"You don't know, James. You don't. I don't know why, but I feel like we need to choose Severus."

"Are you listening to yourself? You sound crazy! Wake up from this fantasy world you're living in, Lily. Your precious Severus doesn't care about you anymore—he's a Death Eater. He's against us."

Lily was silent. She tried not to show the hurt in her expression, to appear strong in the face of her husband's harsh words, but she failed. Her face crumpled and the tears that had been building since she found out about the danger facing her family spilled over. "I'm not going to listen to you talk to me like that," she said quietly once she got control of herself. "I'm not. So I guess I'll be seeing you later."

Lily left Dumbledore's office, head down and tears still running down her face. James started to run after her but Sirius—who had been waiting just outside the door—grabbed a hold of his thin wrist. "Give her time to sort her head out. This is a big deal... she's just afraid."

James nodded weakly. Sirius tended to be better at this stuff, getting inside people's heads and figuring out why they acted a certain way. He was better with girls, too. James wasn't _bad_ with women, he just... he was clumsy when it came to feelings.

Lily ran down the steps and out of the castle, nearly running into Professor McGonagall. "Lily, m'dear, are you alright?" The kindly Transfigurations teacher placed a gentle hand on her elbow.

"I can't make this decision. I can't... and—and—and Severus... Why did things have to turn out like this, Professor? Why can't everything be normal again?" She wiped the hot tears from her eyes and looked towards the ceiling. "Why can't I go back to how everything used to be?"

"Go for a walk, dear. Take Sirius or Lupin as a protection, but go out. You need to think about all of this." McGonagall leaned closer to Lily and lowered her voice. "It's okay to be scared, Mrs. Potter."

Lily nodded her head slowly. "I suppose..." she gave McGonagall a hug, and walked out of the castle. She didn't want to take someone with her—she wanted to be alone. If she had been in the proper state of mind to think things through, she would have brought protection. It wasn't until Lily was walking through Hogsmeade that she remembered that her wand was still back in Dumbledore's office.

_You sound crazy!_ The words echoed in her head. _Severus doesn't care about you anymore._ James was supposed to take care of her and keep her safe, not hurt her. _He's against us. He's against us. We can't trust him. He's against us._ Was that true? Had her Severus really turned against them? The boy that she had grown close to when she was young; the one that she had grown up with... was he really evil?

Just as Lily was passing by an alley, a hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, yanking her into the dark. She didn't have time to yell out, for she realized that she had all but fallen on top of Severus Snape.

"Who are you here with?" He whispered while peering out into the open. Not many people were in Hogsmeade, for fear of Voldemort, and nobody had seen him.

Lily jutted her chin outwards defiantly. "I came alone."

"That's stupid," he muttered, pulling her after him down the alley. He turned around to say something else, but saw the hurt on her face. "I didn't mean that _you're _stupid, Lily. It's just not safe out for you anymore."

"I can take care of myself, Severus," she said. To almost anyone else, her words would have sounded obstinate or strong, but Severus knew her well enough to hear the slight waver in her tone.

"What happened? I thought they were hiding you, or keeping you at the castle?"

Lily shook her head softly. Suddenly, she reached out to his left arm. "Let me see. Is it... true?"

He let her pull the sleeve of his coat back, revealing the Dark Mark on his forearm. Lily stared at it for a moment. She was terrified, and at the same time, confused. Snape had never been truly bad before. He had made his share of mistakes, but she never would have guessed he would actually join forces with Voldemort. "Lily, I didn't have a choice."

Leaning in closely, Lily took a deep breath to muster up every ounce of feeling in her body. "That is utter bullshit." Her words were spoken in a whisper so soft, Severus himself could hardly hear it, but the content stung all the same. "You chose that. Nobody forced you."

"Lily, I—"

"I don't want to hear it. All you've done is hurt me, Sev. From that day when you called me a... you know... to now, all you seem to care about is blood status and You-Know-Who. It's disgusting. You're disg—"

"Please!" Severus surprised himself with his outburst. "Please don't." The pain he felt was apparent in his tone and written across his face. "Lily..." He couldn't force himself to continue.

"James knew," she murmured, nodding towards his arm, which he was subconsciously turning inwards to conceal. "He told me that we can't trust you as our Secret-Keeper, that you were against us... and he was right? Merlin, I've just made a fool of myself. Severus, how could you do this to me?"

"Lily. Shut your mouth for just one second, please!" Severus looked troubled, as if deliberating something deep in his mind. Before she could speak again, he grabbed both sides of her face, pulling his lips to hers.

When he pulled away again, Lily stood there silently. They both looked at each other, for a very long time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, guys, I hope you liked Chapter 1! Erm, I'm bad at composition/dialogue balance, I know, but bear with me! And this is kinda short... but that's just how I roll. Read and review, and here's Chapter 2! ******JKR owns everything****!****

Lily followed Severus down the alleyway and up some stairs. Before she could think to ask questions, she found herself in a cold, dark apartment with very little furniture.

"Sit," Severus said, pointing to the threadbare couch by the fireplace. He put a kettle on the stove and sat across from Lily on a little green chair. "Lily. I am sorry about... joining Lucius in the Death Eaters. I'm sorry for calling you what I did, but Lily..."

"Why did you do it? Why did you choose...this?" Lily gestured towards the tiny place curiously. "Where are we, anyway?"

As Severus got up to get the tea, he thought about how to answer. "Well... When I'm not with the rest of them, I come up here, to hide from everything. They don't know I have this place." He brought a cup of tea to Lily, and sat back down.

With a slight shiver, Lily cocked her head and stared at Severus. "I don't get it. If all you do is run from them, then why join?"

"I had to," he whispered. With a flick of his wand, he lit a fire in the fireplace. "I didn't have a choice."

"I got into a fight with James," she blurted.

Severus restrained himself from grinning like a mad-man. "About?"

After several minutes of silence, Lily replied cautiously. "Well... about you, actually."

"Me?" A million things ran through the Death Eater's head. What could they possibly be saying about him?

It was hard for Lily to think about the things her husband had said to her, but she relayed them to her oldest friend anyway. Sometime during her tearful recounting of the fight, Severus moved to sit next to her on the couch and put his hand gently on her upper back.

"It's just—my husband shouldn't say things like that to me, he's supposed to... take care of me, right? To protect me if someone like Sirius were to say those things. But who's here to stand up when he's the one saying it?" Absent-mindedly, Lily turned to her forgotten tea. It was cold, but crying made her dehydrated, so she drank it anyway.

"Me." Severus said softly. "I'll protect you, and stand up for you, and take care of you... you just have to let me."

She reached for Severus' other hand. "You could have, before... but now oh, Merlin! I love you, Sev—as a friend—but the thing is, how can you protect me when you're part of the very thing we're running from?"

"Lily Beth Evans—"

"Potter," Lily corrected sternly.

Severus took a deep breath before starting over. "Lily Beth P-Potter, do you remember first year on the Hogwarts Express, before James and Sirius showed up? That Ravenclaw second year, Maya Bernall, came up and said that your hair was 'icky' and asked if freckles were a disease, and said you were too short to be a first year?"

"And you told her not to talk to me that way, because my hair was the most beautiful color in the whole bloody rainbow?" Lily smiled, but her brow furrowed in confusion. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"I stood up for you then, and I still want to now." Severus took both of Lily's hands in his. "So let me."

"You are a _Death Eater_, Severus. You march into Hogwarts and try to fight my husband—" Severus flinched at the word, "and you'll get arrested, or your arse kicked, or killed. I know you want to stand up for me right now, but I'm a big girl and I can take up for myself."

"Lily, I'm going to say this straight out. I can't control it anymore. You are far too beautiful, and smart, and you're too bloody kind to be with James Potter!"

Lily remembered not wanting to forgive Severus after he called her Mudblood. She recalled ignoring him in classes, and in hallways. Worst of all, she remembered the night that he stayed outside Gryffindor commons area, waiting for her so he could apologize. There had been several days where she had contemplated whether or not she had made the right choice, but there wasn't a time she had felt that more than she did now. Lily Beth Potter loved her husband. Unfortunately, he hadn't matured as much as she had thought. Calling Lily crazy and being as mean as he had was reminiscent of how he had treated Severus just a few years ago.

"But I _am_ with James, and I love him with my whole heart. You can't change that, Sev."

"That's not fair!" Severus struggled not to whine. "I tried. I tried so hard to get you, to _at least_ be friends. I apologized, and send flowers and chocolates and notes and letters and poems... I tried _so hard._ You wanted to know why I became a Death Eater? Because, Lily, you pushed me there. You left me nowhere to go and drove me practically to insanity."

Lily took a deep breath. "Sev, look. I want you to come back and talk to James about being our Secret-Keeper, ok? If we both go and talk to him, he might say yes. Lily stood, excited by the plans forming in her head. "If you're Secret-Keeper, you can live with us rather than stay here, and You-Know-Who won't be able to find you!"

As the red-head paced around the room, Severus followed her with his eyes. "We could try, I guess. But you said it yourself: If I go marching into Hogwarts, I'll get arrested!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Dumbledore wouldn't let that happen. Anyway, last I heard, he wanted you as a teacher. But... you're a Death Eater. So... Anyway, he'd protect you if you ran from You-Know-Who. Please, come back with me. I want to keep you safe."


End file.
